‘D’you want salt and vinegar?’

A gallon can of malt vinegar costs next to nothing compared with most yacht unctions, yet it has many uses on board. In addition to revitalising a plate of chips rendered beyond salvation by a route match from the local friary, it can also put the shine back into brass that has tarnished far beyond a quick rub up with the magic wadding.

If the metalwork is modern rubbish, don’t leave it submerged overnight because it may dissolve altogether. A carefully monitored dip is what’s required. When your gloss varnish below decks is looking dowdy, mix a little vinegar with water and wipe it down. Dry it off carefully with a clean cloth and it’ll come up smiling every time. An egg-cup full down the sink when you leave the boat kills the smells, and the wonderful thing is that although the stuff pongs for a while, it doesn’t linger.